Wednesday, July 12, 2017

My Own Garden of Gethsemane

Crying, pleading, begging with God to let this immense time of darkness either pass or turn into beautiful and healing light, I found myself in so much emotional and physical anguish as I neared the final court date that would declare my husband and I officially divorced. In no way could I ever compare my hurt and desperation to Jesus while he was in the garden of Gethsemane prior to His own betrayal that would lead to His death, but I surely knew I was in my own garden of suffering.

 As the Lord approached the day of His crucifixion, he went to the garden to pray. And he didn't just simply speak to His heavenly father, he begged, cried out and asked for God to let him avoid the inevitable death-the death that would change the world and our lives forever. He was so stressed and under such excruciating agony to the point his body seeped sweat drops of blood.

"Going a little farther, He fell facedown and prayed, 'My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me. Yet not as I will, but as You will." Matthew 26:39

None of us could or will ever come close to the emotions and pain Jesus was facing and feeling, but look at what he ended his plead with, "...not as I will, but as You will." Jesus, being the human He was, wanted some way out but He also recognized that God's will is more important than His. Despite the circumstance, Jesus wanted His Father's will to be done.

I wanted, despite all the hurt and agony of my husband's betrayal, for God to miraculously save and heal our marriage. But He didn't. My husband's free will and the dire and heavy consequences of His actions had trapped Him giving Him no choice but to leave and never come back. Even though at times I felt God had completely abandoned me like my husband did, He was still there...even in the silence. God did not allow the divorce to pass. It was finalized and I was forced to start my life all over again at the age of 32. but all in all, I simply wanted to be and remain in God's will for my life.

We all want to avoid hurt and rough circumstances, but we must acknowledge that God has a plan in all of it. If He chooses to move the mountain, praise Him. If God chooses to keep that mountain right in your path, then get on your climbing shoes and hiking gear and prepare to climb up and over that rocky path using God as your guide.

There is a purpose in everything. If you are in your own Garden of Gethsemane, may you pray for HIS will to be done-not yours. And no matter what, it will pass. Trust him

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