Monday, May 15, 2017

Enough is Enough

(Written February 2017)

"Give thanks to the Lord for he is good; his love endures forever." -Psalm 118:29

I have had enough of the endless months filled with the tears, the depression, the consuming thoughts, the hurt, the feeling of being unloved and unworthy. I recalled a message from my pastor talking about giving thanks and words of praise even when our circumstances make it nearly impossible to feel like doing so. Today, I continued my reading through the Psalms. I stopped, shut my eyes and talked to my Father. What started out as simple words of praise turned into a prayer revival (no handling of snakes or the beating of drums or the shaking of tambourines but one of the rawest prayer times I've ever had). I released it all; I praised him; I made requests; I interceded on my spouse's and other woman's behalf; I made a promise to Him that I was done and letting go. I know that I will need to do this daily-it's a marathon, not a sprint. But it's something. Actually, it's everything. I need to move forward for me and my own heart. I need the chains of the betrayal to fall and the sun to rise again in my soul. Enough is enough.

I give you my past.
I give you my future.
I give you my hurt.
I give you my thoughts.
I give you my wounds.
I give you my anger.
I give you my fears and anxiety.
I give you my soon to be ex-spouse.
I give you my life.
I give you my heart.
I give you everything.

I praise you in this storm.
I praise you for working everything out for my good even though it doesn't feel that way.
I thank you for being here for me to cry out to you.
I thank you for things unseen.
I thank you for the plans you have for me.
I thank you for the blessings you have in store.
I praise you for taking care of me.
I praise you for comforting me.
I praise you for taking care of my finances and all my needs.
I thank you for fighting for me.
I thank you for your healing.
I thank you for restoring my heart.
I thank you for the sunshine I have been able to feel after 1/2 year of bitter cold darkness..
I thank you. I praise Your most holy name.

Give me a heart of true forgiveness. 
Rid me of any sin hidden in my heart.
Give me joy and happiness.
Let me smile daily.
Fill me with your love.
Provide a place for me to live once the house sells.
Restore my heart.
Give me a second chance at love-true love founded on your foundation.
Comfort me.
Give me compassion and a deep desire to pray for my spouse and others.
Give me eyes to see, ears to hear, lips to glorify.
Let my heart be open to love again and to have a second chance at marriage.
In your time, give me my true Prince Charming.
Help me to help others.
Help me to keep the optimism and joy I've always had.
Help me to always choose to trust in people. 
Use me.

Comfort those who mourn.
Be with betrayed spouses and troubled marriages everywhere.
Turn prodigal spouses away from deception and save them. 
Save my husband and fill his emptiness and deep voids only you can fill..
Have mercy on him. Have mercy on her. 
Do what you must do to bring him and the other woman to you.
Restore him, make him anew, and don't give up on him.
Help me to keep my promise to pray for him until I hear he's turned to you.
I pray for (names that he has laid on my heart).

Through it all, I will testify with all that I am about your goodness. I will go where you lead. I will use this circumstance and reveal to others how you can bring beauty from ashes. I will show people it's not about the physical circumstance, but it's about your promises and your plan. I am yours, God. I am fully yours.

Now it's your turn. Write out what you need to release. Praise Him for all things that come to mind. Give him your requests. Intercede for those he has placed on your heart. And make Him a promise. Enough is enough. No turning back-keep moving ahead.

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